Weird News Headlines - Are You Serious, Dude?

[[Red_Voodoo]69er™]

AP Wire - Campground in Vermont Goes Wireless

BURLINGTON, Vt. - Visitors to the North Beach Campground can now surf the Web while toasting marshmallows over the fire.

The area is the latest in Burlington that allows the technologically equipped access to the Internet without being plugged into any other device or outlet.

Burlington-based Soundtivity Wireless already provides wireless Internet access — often called WiFi — to Church Street and the city's waterfront, and will expand within the next few weeks to Shelburne Shipyard.

Access is available for a fee per day, week or month.

"A lot of people want to get out of the house and tour the country, but they still want connectivity to the outside world," said Jeremy Ward, chief executive of Soundtivity.

Campers gave the service — which started up over the Fourth of July weekend — mixed reviews.

"I usually think of vacation as being away from my computer," said Dean Larson of Hanover, Mass.

Debbie Weston of Huntington said wireless Internet could allow campers to stay on the road longer because they wouldn't miss important communications and news.


Comments: Now you can just download those scary campfire stories. Better yet, download some porn and make the wildlife envious! What next?

[[Red_Voodoo]69er™]

AP Wire - Burger Fan Wolfs Down 20,000th Big Mac

FOND DU LAC, Wis. - Chalk up another meaty milestone for Don Gorske. The Fond du Lac man downed his 20,000th Big Mac sandwich Monday, while surrounded by spectators at a local McDonald's restaurant.

He already had made the "Guinness World Records" book for eating a record number of Big Macs before he hit number 19,000 in March 2003.

He has been eating the fast food sandwiches since 1972 at a rate of at least one a day, and said he has eaten a Big Mac from every state in the union.

Still, the 6-foot Gorske has maintained his weight at about 170 pounds.


Comments: Damn... 20,000 Big Macs?! Wow... and the dude has kept his girlish figure, too. Maybe Mickie Ds' oughta do the same thing Subway did with their sandwiches. Oh.... and how the hell do you keep track of every single burger that you have eaten over the past 30 years? That was probably a feat in itself, unless he cheated.

[[Jose3]69er™]

Now that's I diet program I'd like to try .

[[SHEEP]69er™]

Funny, I'm reading a book right now called Fast Food Nation - The Dark Side of the All-American Meal. After reading this book you may never buy fast-food again. The author, Eric Schlosser, shows you how fast food has "hastened the malling of our landscape, widened the chasm between rich and poor, fueled an epidemic of obesity, and propelled American cultural imperialism abroad" to quote from the back cover. Its a very well written book - a real page turner - and I find myself outraged at the manipulations of the fast food industry. Nonetheless, the book has convinced me to buy stock in McDonalds since they seem to have a perfect business model, but I will still tell my friends and loved ones do not buy fast food if you care about yourself.

[[Red_Voodoo]69er™]

But it tastes so damn good!

The key word to this is "moderation". Any chump who is going to eat fast food everyday of his or her life deserves what they get. You know... I'm tired of society not accepting their own problems and having to blame it on somebody else! The fast food restaurants, the tobacco companies... I have been around for 30 years, and I won't believe that any of their advertisements have influenced me whatsoever! If I get hungry, I usually stop at a place that serves the food I feel like eating. If I want a smoke, I'll buy cigarettes. These are decisions I make on my own... if I die because I eat too many Whoppers, or I get lung cancer because of my occasional smoke, then I accept full responsibility of my actions. The same goes for the whole Microsoft thing, also... I choose Windows since I feel it is the superior OS... many would argue my thoughts, but hey! It's my computer!

I know I went on a tangent here, and it wasn't directed to you Sheep. Books like the one you mentioned are the ones I avoid... I don't care for the ideas of these liberal hippies. That goes for the Moore dude from the stupid anti-Bush book and movie, too.

Sheesh...

Can I get a hug, here?

[[SHEEP]69er™]

Red, for the most part I agree with you. People in this country, hell, people in general need to account for their own actions. If you are a smoker and then you die at a relatively young age due to cancer, the person who is ultimately to blame is you. You made a conscious decision at some point in your life to become a smoker after all. But of course, it's never as simple as that. If a tobacco company deliberately targets kids in their advertising I think there is a problem with that, because children by their nature are very impressionable. A 10 year old kid may be his own person, but you have to admit his reasoning and cognitive skills are probably not developed yet. If a 10 year old kid starts smoking because he falls to the manipulations of advertisers, I honestly blame the advertisers more than the kid. One could argue that the parents are more to blame than the advertisers for improperly nurturing their child, but this does not take away culpability from the advertisers’ hands. The fast food industry, which includes the soda industry, has many such manipulations that we never see, and believe me their main focus is kids; because if they get them hooked at a young age, then they will be customers for life. Not only that, but by bringing one child into a fast food restaurant you bring in at least two people because someone – usually a parent or grandparent – has to pay for that kid’s meal. There’s a reason why Ronald McDonald is a clown and all the McDonald’s characters are cute and cuddly, and why there are more Playgrounds in McDonald’s than in schools. I don’t really see trying to get customers as a bad thing – it’s a free-market economy we live in after all, but when the consumption of soda among teenagers has surpassed the consumption of milk by 3 to1 (it was the exact opposite in the 1950’s), and when soda companies start putting their logo on baby bottles, there is something definitely wrong. Some manipulations are straight out theft. For example, it has long been the fast-food industry’s goal to make zero-training for new employees the norm. They deliberately create a work environment in which no skill is involved to perform the job. Most kitchens for example are automated – bells and whistles tell a worker when everything has to be done – so that a new employee can perform at the same level as a veteran. In an industry where the average length of employment is 3 to 4 months it is crucial that minimal training is required to perform the job. The big problem is this: while quietly spending enormous sums on research and technology to eliminate employee training, the fast food chains have accepted hundreds of millions of dollars in government subsidies for “training” their workers. Under the Work Opportunity Tax Credit for example, fast food companies are able to acquire up to $2400 for each low-income worker they hire, workers they would have hired anyway. And what kind of benefits and training do these workers get? None. Fast-food restaurants I other words have robbed us of our tax-dollars. Anyway, my point is, even though I believe in capitalism and am mostly conservative in my points of view, if left unchecked, big corporations and organizations will often take advantage of the very consumers that made them rich; and you would be doing yourself a disfavor by turning a blind eye to it.

[[Red_Voodoo]69er™]

Several of your points are valid... however, I will argue your statement about advertising, in particular the reference to the tobacco companies.

Smoking is something that, in my opinion, needs no corporate advertising whatsoever. A child who ends up smoking most likely picked up the habit from one of two people: a family member, or a friend or close aquaintence. They are usually subjected to the environment through living situations or social circles. You cannot convince me that a child will pick up a cigarette because he or she saw Joe Camel on a store wall smoking a cigarette! I think advertisement for tobacco products was a lot more prevelent in the '50s, when even some medical professionals were quoted as saying that smoking tobacco acually had health benefits! Now, I will agree that ORIGINALLY when our grandparents and even some of our parents picked up smoking back in that era, it was due to the mass-marketing of the product.

My father smoked when he was younger... his mother smoked before him (and as a result died of throat cancer). He picked up the habit because he viewed it as an acceptable behavior. My father quit when I was very young, so I don't remember him picking up a cigarette. I started smoking at a young age not because my father smoked, but because my closer friends in high school smoked. They smoked because (as I would learn) their parents smoked.

So, your argument of the tobacco companies socking it to today's youth is relatively unfounded (IMO), unless you take into account the smoking in movies viewed by children. However, it would be hard to get many tobacco companies to admit they they threw a few bones to the screenwriters or director to add smoking into a scene of a movie. I can view that scenario as product advertising, but I wouldn't even take that to the bank.

[[XL]69er™]

LOL at McDonalds "training". It dont take much to work there, but when you ask for a "number 1" and they look at you funny, have to look up at the menu to figure it out and then ask, "do you want a drink with that?". . . well, that's beyond retarded! Haha, she probably thought I wanted the pee or something. Good thing I didnt ask for a "number 2".

[[EZ]69er™]

Don't get me started about Mcdonalds... Sure everyone needs a job... but damn... I think some places should have a maximum stupidity level that they won't exceed while hiring people... Thank these people aren't doctors or anything like that...

You go in for surgery to get your tonsils out, you wake up, your beans and frank are missing, and you have tits... not only that, they charge you for a big mac and fries or some shiet like that....

[dabe]

-rant-
Wierd , I havent eaten at Mcdonalds or any other fast food place in over 20 years ..(1 exception- substation-cheese hoagie-twice weekly)....and yet I smoke.....sad...
If I get hungry, I make something to eat at home......I am constantly amazed at the long lines at Burger king, mcd's, wendys, rush's, etc....and am amazed at how much people keep paying us for pizza delivery at papa johns......repeat customers galore......
Heck my roommate never ever makes supper....always eating out, and guess what? that's right he's overweight....But! he doesnt think so!!! lol.......ah the power of fast food.....I'm 6'1" and about 170 ..He laughs at my "skininess"...heheh he's like 5'10" and about 200+ with a homer simpson gut........As are MOST people I know that eat fast food here in fatsville south carolina.....I am AMAZED at the lack of general awareness here,and in general, in America.....

[[XL]69er™]

edition.cnn.com/2004/TECH/07/20/selfclean.clothes/

www.newscientist.com/news/news.jsp?id=ns99996185

[dabe]

Well XL, that food thing is great , I could just piss on it, and eat, and keep playing bf1942, without ever leaving the computer heheheh...... Great for those long sessions...

[[Red_Voodoo]69er™]

Sounds right up my alley... both of them! LOL Good find, XL.

[[Red_Voodoo]69er™]

AP Wire - Man Found Dead on Hospital Lounge Couch

MIDDLEBURG HEIGHTS, Ohio - A man was found dead on a couch in a hospital lounge, and a nurse told police that nobody had checked on him for at least 17 hours because he appeared to be asleep.

Robert F. Johnson, 55, who had emphysema, was found Thursday at Southwest General Health Center, police said. It was not clear when he died; an autopsy was planned.

Police Chief John Maddox said Johnson probably had been dead for several hours and most likely died of natural causes.

"It's just unbelievable," his wife, Robin Johnson, said Friday. "Somebody out at the hospital didn't notice that a man was laying there for such a long period of time and not moving? Why didn't anybody check?"

A hospital spokeswoman, Kelly Stanford, declined to comment on the death. "It's an unfortunate situation, but we're cooperating fully with all levels of investigation," Stanford said.

Nurse Lynette Chihil discovered Thursday morning that Johnson was dead. She told police that Johnson, who was fully dressed and curled with his face buried in a cushion, was discolored and cold, and that she had seen him on the same couch 17 hours earlier. Another nurse said she saw a man reclining on the couch late Wednesday.

Robin Johnson said she had not seen her husband since he left home Monday morning after an argument. Police believe he camped out at the hospital rather than return home.


Comments: Simple: If experiencing any health problems, stay away from Southwest General Health Center in Middleburg Heights, OH!

[[Red_Voodoo]69er™]

AP Wire - Donkey Wins Colorado Mayoral Election

FLORISSANT, Colo. - No elephants need apply. This unincorporated area on Saturday re-elected Paco Bell, a donkey, as its mayor, and that wasn't even close. Two of the four candidates didn't show up.

It's all part of the 15th annual Heritage Days in the town between Divide and Lake George on Colorado Highway 24. Residents like to poke fun at the political process, and they do it by electing a donkey as mayor. Paco Bell won re-election against two no shows and a white donkey named Birdie.

"We had one who was colicky, so he couldn't make it, and another one's trailer broke down, so he couldn't come either," said organizer Tracie Bennitt.

Volunteers the Pikes Peak Historical Society stuffed Paco Bell's ballot box with donations — ensuring him a second term.

Dagney Hales, 8, and Sam Easto, 7, fed the mayor wild goldenrod, green stalks with little yellow flowers, and Teller County Sheriff Kevin Dougherty swore in the incumbent.

"This is good and rural," Dougherty said. "We love doing this kind of stuff."


Comments: Move over Kerry! Introducing Paco Bell as the Democratic nominee for President! ;D